Saturday, November 7, 2009

Obama Pauses to Reflect and other rants

Obama: "Well I have saved you from the BRINK of economic disaster, now we will consider how to save you from the MESS they created and HE caused, ANDY WHO caused the mess? I forget.

The BRINK is defeated


"As I pause to consider the illogical events of loosing jobs while spending one trillion dollars my extended hand of unclenched fingers to business has been chummed so I now without remorse or celebration convene a conference of Jihadists to declare a holy war against loosing jobs.

"Besides praying and whining a lot we will compose a tactic to blame it on THEM and their leader "Whats his name" I cant remember. I now declare a Fatwa against small businesses that refuse to create jobs and have made me look stupid.

"God will cut off their heads and pour hot oil down their throats, just as soon as we convene our "What temperature of hot Oil" conference which will decide if this will contribute to Global Warming, just as soon as our conference on "Do we have enough Oil to Pour down their throats " brings back the answer to that question.

"The "can bio-fuels be poured down their throats" conferences will run consecutively. All conferences will have focus and break out groups as usual include one Maoist and one Marxist in each group.

"The Christian member can sit in the lobby with a sign applauding our efforts, we will convene a conference to compose the sign. What Andy? oh yeah, all signs must be made by union employees. What Andy? Oh yeah, paid up union employees in good standing.

Praise be to God
Sing Children Sing


HEADLINE: Congress passes 25% Kool Aid tax on those top 1% of greedy citizens (who make over $22,000 a year)

The white house today applauded the efforts of congress to balance the kool aid budget. It seems the kool aid has cost about 3200% more than estimated and the rich citizens making $22,000 -$19,000 will be taxed 25%. Yesterday two citizens found to be making more than $22,000 were buried up to their necks and stoned to death on the White House lawn, in a ritualistic glorious event. As usual Fox news has disappointed the administration by reporting this as murder and unconstitutional. (There are rumors that a few citizens at FOX pour their Kool Aid down the toilet) The two offenders slipped through the cracks by trading their Kool aid rations to the Chipawa-Amercan Indians in Michigan for smelt and selling the smelt to rich Mexicans across the border.

In other news, the Chinese have finished there oil rigs off of Los Angeles, they broke there promis to hire Illegal-Alien-Americans and brought 22,000 Uighurs refugies from China to work the rigs. The Chinese will produce 40,000,000,000 barrels a year, the USA will recieve a 2% reduction in it's inerest payments to the Chinese in return.Remember Citizens pouring your Kool Aid down the toilet is a Federal Offense requiring amputation of one limb of your choice. Praise be to God.

Sing children Sing


Fort Hood Texas

As I pause in the task of my communist mopping up of the other guys mess, I ponder the man made disaster at Fort Hood and caution you not to draw any rash conclusions about a man named Nidar Hasad shouting allahu akbar and wonder what mystical meaning there is in that it interrupted my Indian affairs conference where I promised to give them Detroit as it is no longer any use to our non-Indian-American citizens. The Algonquin-Americans get to teach the African-American population of Detroit to fish for Smelt and in other ways honor Gods creations. The Chippewa-Americans will take charge of any Obama stash left in Detroit. I have scheduled a academic conference to prepare the educational agenda to teach fishing to 700,000 African-Americans left in Detroit. This will be done by the 22 Algonquin-Americans left. in the world I am asking the Annenberg Foundation that exists to advance the public well-being through improved communication for 100 million grant for each of the Algonquin-Americans because that worked out so well in Chicago didnt it Bill? We have also provided funding so everyone in Detroit can win the National Honorable Fishing Award, which will be administered by SEIU and available only to union members. What Andy? Oh Yeah that's paid up union members in good standing.


I extend to you the fist of broken fingers, even tho the socialist mop is heavy and my bucket is full of dirty water I can thank God I avoided the pain of amputation and I still have my tonsils, even tho my insurer cut my max to $5,000,000 the day after I removed their legal protection I continue without malice to trash whoever opposes my winning of the race during which I beat an old white man and a middle aged white woman whom I never noticed they had any skin color because she was like my typical white person grandmother who I love. Sing children sing.

Obama pauses to reflect while sipping a vodka martini with white house visitor Andy Stern

Obama: Well Andy the folks are finally going to be taken care of.

Andy: Dues, Dues I told you make them pay dues.

Obama: After 35 focus groups and 22 breakouts and 100's of discussions they are finally going to do what you told them, Andy.

Andy: Dues, Dues I told you make them pay dues.

Obama: Andy, not now, I'm pausing to reflect. It was an ingenious plan Nancy came up with. Our polls show 22.5% of the conservatives will refuse to join a Public Option and we will fine them $25,000 to pay for the plan. Gitano bay Cuba will be empty and we will ship them there. I was told it costs $82,000 a year in Gitano to keep a prisoner so we will make up the shortfall by having the Chipawa-Americans teach them to fish for Smelt. Our committee on "Fishing For Smelt At Gitano bay By Conservatives Who Wont Buy Public Option" FFSAGBBCWWBP reported that we can generate a profit of $56,999 per conservative which will reduce the national debt by $1.

Andy: They have to be unionized, cant fish without paying dues. What about the liberals who dont buy in.

Obama: You cant teach a liberal to fish, besides they dont want to work.

Andy: They wouldnt have to work just join the union and pay dues.

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